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Words by Kal Fitsch

The nervous system is complex, multi-faceted and operates differently for everyone. As we move through the ups and downs of everyday life, we might experience an uptick in our anxiety.  

If you have chronic illness and/or trauma in the mix, chances are you experience more of these upticks. You may feel on edge, as if you’re in survival mode or like your nervous system is constantly ‘buzzing’.

It’s something we hear all too often from the humans that come through the doors at Zebras. Chronic illness is often synonymous with trauma, unhelpful medical experiences, interpersonal relationship issues or all of the above. 

When a stressful situation arises, it can be easier said than done to ‘just to calm down’. Even when we communicate to ourselves that there is no immediate danger, our nervous system can disagree and still not feel safe. 

That situation could look like a medical professional dismissing your reality, a miscommunication with a loved one or encountering something that reminds you of a traumatic event.

Some things to try when you feel heightened

Though something as simple as making a cup of tea may seem redundant in a time like this, it may be just what your nervous system needs; to step away, calm the mind and bring you back into the moment. 

Today, I wanted to offer you 40 quick self-regulation ideas to try. The below offer a wide variety of sensory experiences, and I encourage you to listen to your body and try something that resonates (if you’re not sure what you need, try a couple and see what feels best). 

1. Look at something green – for example, trees, flowers or indoor plants.
2. Take 5 slow, deep breaths – you may also like to try box breathing.
3. Doodle on a piece of paper – it doesn’t need to be artistic! Draw what’s around you, your favourite animal, a stick figure or just a series of shapes. 
4. Lay on the floor for a few minutes
5. Comfort yourself as if you’re a friend – what would you say if a friend approached you with the same concern you’re having? Take that advice, and communicate that to yourself. It’s a simple act of self-acceptance that can go a long way.
6. Take a shower – this one is less about hygiene and more about the experience of letting the water run over you.
7. Have a snack – consider what flavour profile you might enjoy, eg. savoury, salty, sour or sweet.
8. Smell something you like – for example, a candle, plant or essential oil.
9. Write your thoughts and/or feelings down in a journal – doesn’t need to be polished; it just needs to be true.
10. Sing (or hum) along to a song – bonus points if the song makes you feel seen, uplifted or hopeful.
11. Have a cry – we all need a cry sometimes. It’s an emotional outlet – so let it out!
12. Walk around the block – take notice of your surroundings. The shapes of the leaves on the trees, colour flowers in gardens or cats sitting on neighbour’s windowsills.
13. Take your dog for a walk around the block – maybe work in a game of fetch if you have the time and spoons.
14. Wash your face with cold water – if you can’t get your face wet at this time, try your hands and forearms.
15. Loosely plan something fun for yourself later – for example, ordering a takeaway, seeing a friend or watching a movie.
16. Slow down whatever task you’re doing – slowing down is one of the simplest ways to soothe the nervous system.
17. Meditate for a few minutes – if you need a helping hand, you can try a guided practice from our Patreon.
18. Spin around really fast
19. Lay under a weighted blanket – if you don’t have a weighted blanket, a heavier duvet (or multiple blankets) works too. I have a cuddly cat who likes to lay on my chest; this also does the trick!
20. Have a warm drink – tea, hot chocolate, coffee or something else. You may like to experiment by adding different ingredients such as honey, cinnamon or nutmeg. Make it fun!
21. Pet a dog, cat or other pet – focus on how soft, coarse or scaly they feel.
22. Hold a dog, cat or other pet – hold them close to you (if they’ll allow) and feel their heartbeat.
23. Pet or hold a stuffed animal – if you don’t have a pet nearby, this also does the trick. Me and my lifetime collection of plushies can confirm this.
24. Call a friend for a quick chat – it doesn’t have to be a derailed conversation about how life is going, just a quick check-in.
25. Wrap a blanket around yourself – extra points if the blanket is made of a texture you really like. Lay down if that feels right.
26. Bounce a ball – play a little coordination game if you feel inclined. Bounce it against a wall and catch it, or shoot some hoops if you have one nearby.
27. Play your favourite song and focus on the lyrics – do you remember the words that come next? What do they mean to you? Do they remind you of a good memory? 
28. Jump on a trampoline – you’re never too old for this. I promise.
29. Make a playlist of songs – this can be anything. Songs to get you excited for an upcoming trip, songs that are good to move to or songs that remind you of a happy memory.
30. Craft for a few minutes – if you can’t, think about your current or next project. Is there anything you can plan ahead?
31. Put away an item that is not in its place – rearrange the cushions on the couch, put away some dishes or find a spot for that weird and wonderful trinket your friend gifted you.
32. Read a page/chapter of a book
33. Play a game on your phone for a few minutes – I suggest something relaxing, cosy or puzzley.
34. Remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes – pop to the bathroom, head outside or to get yourself to an empty room. 
35. Do a wordsearch, crossword or sudoku for a little bit
36. Punch or scream into a pillow – this one speaks for itself.
37. Ask for a hug from a loved one – if this isn’t possible, hug yourself tightly.
38. Stretch for a few minutes – you don’t necessarily need to roll out a mat onto the floor; just take a few moments to stretch in a way that feels right.
39. Touch a fabric you like
40. Play with a fidget of your choice – my favourites include tangles, picky pads and spinners. Our friends at Kaiko Fidgets have a fantastic range.

You can also combine some of the above if that is helpful for you. For example, take 5 deep breaths while laying under a weighted blanket, or stretch for a few minutes while listening to your favourite song.

Of course, the above self-soothing strategies are not a ‘fix-all’ – but they don’t need to be. They are there to try when your nervous system feels heightened. Sometimes, taking a few minutes to do something enjoyable is just what you need to centre yourself. 

Feel free to keep this list handy for when you need it. Try anything that resonates with you. Above all – take care of yourself, and remember that you are not a failure if your nervous system reacts unexpectedly to situations.